The history.
28 years ago I met my person.
27 years ago today I started 5th Grade. My best friend’s family invited my mother and I over to celebrate. Coincidentally, this was not the only reason. It happened to be my best friend’s birthday. As the 7 of us sat around a dining table in Broken Arrow eating Lasagna followed by the 1992 staple of Dirt Cake (complete with gummy worms) we would have never suspected this friendship would last this long.
About us.
My best friend was shy and studious. I was not so much studious and only shy in some circumstances. Over the years I became a bonus sibling in the family. Our friendship has experienced the comfortable rubber band pull of life; sometimes distant but always snapping back to where we belong. In high school we had pulled apart – particularly after her boyfriend that I was not overly fond of her dating (and was less than quiet about it) stole my hubcaps. By a sheer stroke of luck her Mother and youngest brother happened to be at Sams club shopping at the same time as my parents and I the summer before Senior year. Her mom told me I was owed a big apology and I needed to come over that night. I could have been stubborn and refused to go but for a change I was not. I went over and things picked up where we left off. When introverted Liz decided to go out for Mascot with me our senior year I think she took us all by surprise!
“Are you plotting a murder? A nuclear attack? It’s fine, I’ll get on board, I’m sure you have a good reason, but just let me know!”
— Meredith Grey • Grey’s Anatomy
As adults.
A big fast forward to the past four years as I was going from Doctor to doctor to find out why I was experiencing such constant and debilitating pain. At one doctors visit I was presented with an Advance Directive. If you are unfamiliar with what this is you need to learn this and fill one out. Advance directives give someone else who you designate the power to make all medical decisions in the event that you are unable. These decisions include end of life care and heroic measures. You write down what your wishes are but the person(s) you designate have the ability to say what or when is enough or too much. Since I have no close siblings who could be designated I sat thinking who I should designate. Clearly it did not make sense to appoint someone older than me as I would likely have to update this repeatedly. Also I needed to select someone who leans toward pragmatic thinking over allowing emotions to govern the situation. In the end this left one person in my mind. Over Christmas I asked if I could designate her as “my person” officially.
Thoughts for the future.
My friends with children. Look closely at those who your child befriends. Chances are that one of them will one day be that person. I truly hope each of them finds someone so stalwart to fill this role in their life. Liz has seen me as a child coping with divorce, manipulation and estrangement. In my teens and twenties she saw me dating, breaking up and finally choosing to be a military spouse. My thirties brought on a choice to end a marriage, moving on and a mess of medical confusion. I hold no crystal ball for what will come next for us but I know we will still be side by side (figuratively) cheering for each other. Slaying any dragons that come our way and making our own slightly dark and twisty narrative to go along.
PS
Liz is usually the person I send my blog posts to before I take them live to make sure I do not massacre the english language. My apologies for any mistakes in grammar. Usually I make a facebook post that is annoyingly detailed for her birthday but I decided to take things to 11 this year. <sarcasm> Being the introvert she is I am sure she is loving the attention. </sarcasm> After all she is my person and that deserves some celebrating!
Happy Birthday Lizzard-Breath!
